The Matchmaker
by Renee the Rabid Squirrel
Summary: Ch 6 up! [High school AU] Sophomore student Juuhachi Gero is 'The Matchmaker', putting couples together from different crowds. One day, she moves across Japan to a new highschool, and learns a whole new lesson on people and love. K18, BV, GCC
1. We're Moving!

A/N: New DBZ story once again. Hope you all like, I figured I might as well do a highschool A/U for the fun of it. The whole story is in Juuhachi's POV. It deals with a lot of different stereotypes. In case you haven't noticed, I have issues with some preppy people. Enjoy!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
Summary: A sophomore student named Juuhachi leads a life devoted to bringing people together, just for the fun of it. Dubbed "The Matchmaker" by her fellow peers, Juuhachi suddenly must move from her hometown to the Southwest Capitol, where everything this girl knew about love takes a 180 degree turn.  
  
~*~  
  
Hey, my name's Juuhachi. It was the middle of first semester in my sophomore year at East Capitol High, and everything was normal as usual. I lived in an old, yet rustic house with my brother Juuana and my Uncle Gero. I don't know what his first name is, he never told us. Anyways, my brother was standing by the water fountain, chatting with his latest preppy interest. The girl was pretty, but lacked basic intelligence: perfect for Juuana.   
  
"Juuhachi! Hey, what's up?"  
  
"Hey Elsa, I'm good."  
  
"Who's the latest project?"  
  
"Babs Gordon and Jeff Owitashi."  
  
"So it's the hippie/prep combo this time? If you need help, just ring my cell oh mighty matchmaker."  
  
That was Elsa, who was my best friend back then. She had dark purple hair and was always wearing tie-dye, placing her in the hippie category. She didn't mind my teasing, she joked with me all the time. Oh, sorry, I guess I should explain things better. You see, I was the school's matchmaker. I observed personalities and hooked people up, but never two people from the same crowd. That's just boring! Surprisingly, all my pairings have worked out quite well. I've had people stop me in the halls and thank me sometimes.   
  
As for me, well, I wear tommy hilfiger, billabong and shit like that. I'm not a prep, far from it. They (the preps) refused to associate with me. Well, the girls. The guys certainly appreciated me, but that's because I bear more skin than the average person. Hey, if you have a great body, show it, that's my motto. If it weren't for my status as "The Matchmaker", I'd have been the biggest slut in the school, even though I'd never had a boyfriend. That's right, the matchmaker was a dateless wonder. Why? Number of things, gets complicated, I'll explain it later. Besides, it was so much more fun working with other's lives than my own. Mine was so...dull.  
  
"Hey, Juuhachi! Come over tonight, you won't regret it!"  
  
"As soon as you get a life, a brain, and some deodorant, I'll give it some thought Milo."  
  
Kami I hated that guy! He was dead set on fucking me and there was NO WAY that would happen. I looked at my watch and realized that it was getting late and my bus would leave really soon.   
  
I left the school, some jocks whistled, some bitches glared, and I smiled sweetly as I made my way towards my bus. I arrived at home to find Juuana bitching about something to Uncle Gero. Little did I know that this 'something' was about to change my life as I knew it.  
  
"Juuhachi."  
  
"Yeah Uncle?"  
  
"We're moving."  
  
I stood there, unable to speak. Moving? MOVING??!! Why would we move? Everything we'd ever wanted, needed and knew was here! No wonder Juuana was bitching. Actually, he was still bitching.  
  
"We can't move! I just hooked up with this girl named Azumi! She's awesome! I can't just leave her! And what about all my friends?"  
  
You have no idea how tempted I was to say "What friends?" but bro seemed pretty angry, so I kept my mouth shut.  
  
"I've already made the decision, Juuana. We're moving in a month."  
  
A month. Well, at least it gives me time to say goodbye to Elsa and Connor. Stupid me, didn't even tell you who Connor was, did I? He was a good guyfriend of mine. We met at the blues festival two years ago and found out we were going to the same high school. Yeah, I liked blues music back then, so what? I still do. A month should also be enough time to get Babs and Jeff together. They're very much alike, with subtle differences, only they don't know it yet. One thing confused me though - how did Juuana get home before me if he was talking to Azumi? Meh. Finally, my voice came back and I asked Uncle a question.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Southwest Capitol City. I'll be starting work along with the Capsule Corp. team."  
  
So THAT was why we were moving. You see, Uncle's a scientist, really dedicated to his work. Sometimes I think he's a little TOO dedicated. But anyhow, I guess I should mention that Capsule Corp. is famous worldwide for its technology. Uncle must have been ecstatic to know that he would be working there. But to go all the way to Southwest Capitol - that was hard for bro and I. Of course, there was always instant messaging. It wasn't the same, but it allowed me to keep in touch with people.   
  
I traipsed upstairs to my room, leaving Juuana and Uncle still arguing. I guessed I'd have to register with another martial arts school once we moved - didn't want my skills getting rusty now. Picking up the phone, I wondered if Elsa would even be there - she was always busy volunteering or fundraising or SOMETHING to help the community. The phone rang five times before I got the answering machine. I hung up - I wanted to tell her in person. I supposed it would have to wait until tomorrow.  
  
~*~  
  
Holy shit time flew by fast. It seemed like it had only been a day ago that I found out we were moving, and yet it had already been three weeks! Babs and Jeff had been going out for over a week now, another success for me. When I told Elsa and Connor that I was leaving, they got all sad and stuff. Connor cried for me. I was under the impression that he was a tough guy - guess I was wrong. It's nice to know he cared so much. So later I was sitting in a café on the waterfront, drinking a peach smoothie. Just my luck, Milo walked in. He was one of the reasons I was happy to leave.  
  
"Hey Juuhachi, come here often?"  
  
"As long as you're not here."  
  
"You don't have to be so mean."  
  
"What's the matter? Can't take it? Rejection to much for your puny mind to handle? Gee, that's too bad. Maybe it you weren't getting high all the time you'd have the sense not to talk to me in the first place."  
  
His mouth was wide open, he looked like one of those cartoons, you know, when the jaw drops to the floor? At least he had shut up. Slowly he tired to compose himself, failed miserably and left. Thank God.   
  
~*~  
  
How do you guys like it so far? Good? Bad? Oh, and I just thought of something. I was going to have Vegeta be a raver, but would it be better if he was a tekker (he appears later in this story)? Feedback is always appreciated. Have a good day! 


	2. Smoothie Obsession

A/N: Big thank you goes out to those who reviewed the first chapter! I love you two! Onward we go!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
~*~  
  
My mind drifted back to the move - I'd be able to do matchmaking with a fresh new crowd. That would be fun. Of course, I would need a new matchmaking assistant, since Elsa wouldn't be there with me. I figured I'd try to get a guy assistant - a good challenge for me there. Damn, those smoothies they had were awesome! If I had tried them earlier on in my life, I'd be twice my weight at least. Christ, Southwest Capitol better have good smoothies. I walked out of the café only to see none other than Samantha Takomo and her group of bitchy followers. Yet another reason why I was glad to leave.  
  
"Hey Juuhachi, how's work?"  
  
"Making a lot of cash at your corner?"  
  
"Yeah, actually, I am. You mothers are my best customers. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't know? They said you guys weren't pleasing them properly. They wouldn't have an orgasm ever if it weren't for me. Oh, and your boyfriends too, they like me. They REALLY like me."  
  
"You bitch!"  
  
"Whore!"  
  
"At least I get paid, whereas you all need to pay others just to get any."  
  
I walked away, not sure whether to wear a smirk or victory or a scowl of annoyance on my face as the bitches screamed lame insults at me. It's not like I actually slept with their mothers, who do you think I am? I'd rather kill them for bringing those arrogant twits into the world. As for their boyfriends...you think I'd lower myself to fuck with someone who sleeps with a bitch? Hell fucking no. I thought maybe for the rest of the weekend I'd chill - maybe invite Elsa over or something. Only one more week to go, and I was starting to think I was more than ready to leave.  
  
I strolled home in twenty minutes only to discover my brother and his latest fancy half naked and moaning on the living room sofa. This one's the girl from the hallway...Azumi, wasn't it? I'm surprised he's been with her this long...he didn't miss her much once he found someone in Southwest Capitol. Did I mention he's a prep? I tease him about it every day, he calls me a slut. It's a sibling-bonding thing. We're twins - we'd be identical if he dyed his hair blond and got breast implants...or a padded bra would work too. Our Uncle barely looks like us, save his eyes. Age will do that to a person. Normally I don't criticize people's choice in clothing (unless I hate them, then it's okay), but the orange striped puffy pants he wore were so ugly it wasn't even funny.   
  
I bet you're wondering what happened to my parents. Well, from what I've heard, dad got mom pregnant, bolted, and when she gave birth she died shortly after. It never bothered me that they weren't there, I've never missed them. I just hated the fact that I'd never been loved. Uncle took care of us, provided food, listened if we needed to talk, but it wasn't the same. I had to become indifferent and independent of love just to survive. Well, I suppose Juuana and I had a sibling kind of love. You know, the kind where you beat the crap out of each other one minute, then help each other hobble over to the fridge the next? Yeah, we've had some painful sparring sessions - he fights too. Other than that, I'd had no love. In some ways, I was fine with it. It's what I was used to - another reason why I wouldn't go out with anyone. I hated disrupting what stability I had. Never mind the fact that a quarter of the school would have rather skipped the dating process all together and just fucked me. Maybe when I transferred schools I wouldn't wear such skimpy clothes. Nah.  
  
Well, here we were, moving day. I had packed all my gear and was ready to leave as soon as I said one last goodbye to Elsa. I enveloped her in a bear hug at the time, and she made me promise me to IM her every day. If I couldn't do that, I was to phone her. She could be very demanding, she could indeed. Juuana was lying through his teeth to Azumi that he'd keep up his relationship with her. Riiiight. Of course, she was too stupid to realize she'd never hear from him again. The movers were hauling our stuff into this big-ass transport box-thingy. Okay, so I'm not that articulate. Spare me and let me finish my story! Anyways, the movers finished, and started driving away to our new home. I climbed in the back seat of the Buick Uncle owned, and Juuana sat beside me. He did it just to bug me you know. He knew perfectly well that we'd be arguing by the time we left city limits. He loved bugging me. Well, I loved bugging him too. At least we wouldn't be bored during our road trip.  
  
"Are you sure you two can handle yourselves back there?"  
  
"Don't worry Uncle, it's not like I'll screw Juuhachi."  
  
"I wouldn't put it past you, you've done everyone else besides her. I can't believe what a whore I have for a nephew."  
  
I burst out laughing, which earned me a glare from Juuana. I completely ignored him until he punched me in the side. I quickly slapped him hard on the face.   
  
"Ow!"  
  
"I told you before, don't touch me. It'll only make things worse."  
  
"You're going to burn in hell, sis."  
  
"Let's see you make me, prep."  
  
Of course, that started an entire bitch-slap fest between Juuana and myself, which lasted for a whole hour. Poor Uncle must have been rendered deaf for a short period of time. Eventually the two of us had stopped and were laughing our heads off, with red hand marks all over our arms.  
  
"So, are you actually going to call that ditz Azumi?"  
  
"Hell no, there's way better girls in Southwest Capitol. And what about you, matchmaker? You going to find yourself a boyfriend when we get there."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"You're hopeless."  
  
"You're a slut, that's much worse than your sister being dateless."  
  
"Shut up, Uncle."  
  
"Juuana's a sluuuut, Juuana's a sluuuuut."  
  
I laughed so hard that my voice disappeared. I never had thought I would see the day where Uncle would act childish like that, making fun of Juuana. It was hilarious. This time though, he chose not to slap me and instead kicked my left leg. Then, it was an all out war. Kicking, scratching, biting, punching, slapping and whacking with pillows. In the end, I won. It didn't matter that I was bruised and bleeding, because I won. Plus, Juuana's head was stuck in a pillow, so that made me the winner by my rules. He still, to this day, insists that he won, but he knows the truth. He just won't admit it. I certainly hoped Uncle wouldn't have to take us to the emergency room as soon as we got to Southwest Capitol, because I wanted to check out the smoothie shops.  
  
Well, that's all for now! Hope you like it! Reviews...please! I would be ever so grateful and appreciative. I'll try to have the next chapter out soon. Byes! 


	3. On The Road Again

A/N: Here we go! Next chapter here! Thanks to all those who reviewed, you are too kind. Oh, and when I said tekker (might be spelled techer), I meant the people who work on their cars and wear cowboy boots and sometimes have a really low IQ. The correct term for Star Trek followers is a trekkie. Maybe that's what I'll do...make Vegeta a nerd. *laughs insanely* Anything's possible with this story.  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
~*~  
  
Well, there we were, still on the road. I was eating cheesy popcorn at the time, and having difficulties keeping it away from Juuana. Stupid pig. After I finished that, boredom set in, and Juuana had decided that now was a good time to sing, much to the annoyance of Uncle and myself.  
  
"Misery...is what I feel...when you're not around...so what can heal...misery..."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"But sister dear, if I want to get into the music industry, I have to practice."  
  
"No you don't, just wear a padded bra and dress like a skank. You'll be there in no time."  
  
"True enough."  
  
We all sat in silence for a total of about...30 seconds, which was when Juuana came up with the idea of singing the song that never ends. I joined in, because I was bored out of my frickin' mind. The best part was that we sang it really loud, and I mean REALLY loud. Uncle Gero even joined us, and this is the even more cool part, LOWERED THE WINDOWS so that EVERYONE ELSE driving could hear us. I swear, it's in our genes to annoy people. You wouldn't believe how many people flipped us the bird. It was hilarious, at least, I thought so.   
  
The most humorous part of our trip, though, was when we walked into Burger King and the cashier started flirting with Juuana. I should mention that this was a fifty year old man as well. Poor Juuana was throwing up in the washroom, and I was laughing my ass off and trying to eat my Whopper. I was choking on my food a few minutes later. Juuana wouldn't eat anything, thinking he'd probably throw up again.   
  
When we got back in the car, Uncle cranked up the country music...really loud. And I mean REALLY loud. I was plugging my ears, and Juuana was singing along. I never thought country could sound worse, but Juuana proved me wrong.   
  
"The best thing about bein' a woman..."  
  
Have I ever mentioned how much I LOATHE Shania Twain? The worst part about that is Juuana pretends he knows it really well, but...yeah.  
  
"Oh-oh-ah-oh, a-totally crazy, give e-m'lady, men in lil' short skirts, oh-oh-ah-oh, feel the attraction-"  
  
I grabbed my brother's pillow and tried to suffocate him. I was really pissed at that point, and I vowed to make sure he would NEVER sing again. Of course, then we had a really huge pillow fight, which turned into another bitch-slap fest. At the end of it all, Juuana had agreed to stop singing, as long as I stopped raking him with his nails. I can be a vicious bitch when I want to be, it's true. He was bleeding quite a bit too.  
  
When we finally saw the sign for Southwest Capitol City, I was doing a victory dance...well, as much of a victory dance as one can do in a small car like ours. I must have hit my head about ten times on the roof of Uncle's stupid Buick. Juuana was poking me with a glow stick he found as we entered the city...I have no idea where the hell he got it from. All I cared about at that point was the best way to shove it down his throat. Which I tried to do, only to start another fight. To my disadvantage, Juuana discovered that he had long nails as well, which resulted in the both of us bleeding, as well as scratch marks EVERYWHERE on our bodies. I just thanked Kami it was Saturday...school wasn't for another two days, so the cuts and scratches could heal.  
  
The city itself wasn't much different from our old one, except for the fact that here was Capsule Corp, as well as a few more ritzy shops, restaurants, etcetera. Twenty minutes later found the three of us parked in the driveway of our new home. It seemed okay, the usual dome-shaped structure along with a coat of light green paint. Uncle said it had two floors and four bedrooms. Hey, we needed that extra bedroom...Uncle sometimes invited poor people to spend the night and eat dinner with us. He's quite a kindly soul, I guess that's how he survives living with us. Anyone else would have disowned us by now.  
  
I jumped out of the car, happy to breathe some fresh air, grabbed my carry-on bag in the car and bolted to the house. Juuana wasn't far behind, because, you see, we had decided whoever gets to the room they want first keeps it. There was a slight flaw in our plans, however. We both arrived at the door at the exact same time only to realize Uncle had the keys to the house.  
  
"Damn. Well, I would've won anyways."  
  
"Yeah, right Juuana. I can beat your ass any day."  
  
"Wanna bet?"  
  
"All right, fine. Ten bucks says I'll beat you to that streetlight over there."  
  
The light itself was a good distance away, and I knew Juuana didn't pace himself very well. This victory was in the bag.  
  
~*~  
  
A ten dollar loss later, I grabbed my bag off the lawn as Juuana examined his winnings. Dammit, how was I supposed to remember he was on the cross-country running team this year? Meh, it was only ten bucks. Even so, I was still pissed off. By this time, Uncle had opened the house and the movers had arrived. Using my brother's distraction to my advantage, I sped into the house and to the second floor. The first bedroom I came to had a mural with pirates and treasure and the ocean. Didn't want that there, no way in hell. The next room was completely black. Very interesting indeed, but I wanted to check out everything first before I decided. The third room had striped wallpaper that was pink and yellow. I wanted to gag as soon as I set my eyes on it. I walked to the fourth room to find that it was also black, only larger than the first. Score!  
  
I set down my bag and rubbed my hands together with glee as I heard Juuana run up the stairs in a hurried frenzy. He ran into the other black room and ran out. Next, he went into the pirate room...and he left that one too. Next, he went into the striped one...you wouldn't believe how long he spent in there. Turns out that was the room he wanted, for some odd reason. I knew he was preppy, but honestly! That's just scary.  
  
I walked out of my room to check out the downstairs more carefully. It wasn't posh living, but we certainly weren't poor. The kitchen had ceramic tiles with little jewels painted all over it. When I looked more carefully, each jewel had about ten different colours on it, and considering there were about fifteen jewels on each tile...that's a hell of a lot of detail.   
  
The living room had soft blue carpeting and wallpaper that looked as if it had been through a meat grinder. Well, that's one thing I'll bug Uncle to get rid of. Then again, he never listened to me as a kid when I wanted to get rid of Juuana. He said I'd regret it. I suppose, now that I look back, he was right. But at that particular moment the only thing I was regretting were the scratch marks I got, and my loss of ten bucks. Juuana was expendable, at least until I took a look at the den.  
  
Once I was there, I didn't give two shits about Juuana. The den was huge, and the owners had left behind THREE beanbag chairs. One wall had a mural of a massive spider and random insects caught in its web. The floor had blood red carpeting. It was stunning, and I loved it, and I wanted it all to myself. Too bad it had to be the den and not one of the bedrooms.   
  
~*~  
  
That's all for now! Let me know what you think and go read my other stories! 


	4. New Friends, New Enemies

A/N: Here we go again! Thanks to those who reviewed! It's been a while...sorry for taking so long.  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
~*~  
  
I guessed the previous owners must have been artists, with all the murals and creativity that went into the place. Uncle raves over this kind of stuff. It's one of the things we agree on. Juuana, on the other hand, thinks art is all the paintings of naked women. That's Juuana for you. Sick-minded pervert, but hey, he's my brother, and in all honesty, most guys his age are the same, so on a global scale he's not so bad. Let's emphasize GLOBAL.  
  
A few hours later, the three of us were eating Kentucky Fried Chicken in silence. I don't know what the guys were thinking, but I was still having a riot in my mind over what happened at Burger King today. I snickered, and they both gave me a strange look.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sis, you're a psycho."  
  
"You get hit on by old men who flip burgers." My dear brother had absolutely no comeback for that, and Uncle started snickering as well. The two of us were soon laughing at Juuana, who looked like a cherry tomato at that point.   
  
Oh, that was a fun night; we spent most of it making fun of my brother. By the time eleven o'clock came around, I was dead tired, what with all the move and the excitement. I curled up in my bed, upstairs in the darkly painted room and feel right asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
Then, in what seemed like seconds at the time, I was opening the door to the main high school in the Southwest Capitol...Orange Star High School. What a name...I almost gagged as soon as I saw it. Walking inside, the smell of overcooked french fries invaded my senses, and I made a terrible face. I hate people who can't cook properly, especially if they're getting paid to do it.  
  
"Hey there!" I turned around to see a tall guy with a six-pack waving at me. A prep...but he was actually being friendly, instead of pretending to be all macho. Odd.   
  
"Hi." He stuck out his hand.   
  
"I'm Goku, I saw you and figured you were new around here." Goku smiled, like a person would smile if they were talking to a long-time friend. It was so easy to be comfortable around this guy. I gave him a wry grin in return.  
  
"Yep, I'm new. Juuhachi's the name." I clasped his hand with mine and shook it; he had a firm grip. I instantly wondered if he was a fighter of some sort, and I asked him.  
  
"Well, I've on the school's wrestling team for...yeah, this is my second year now."  
  
"That's it? You're hiding something." He looked at me, quite baffled. I guess people he had just met didn't usually interrogate him like this. Well, that's me...I'm special.  
  
"...I've been training in martial arts for a while. Hey, you don't look all that weak yourself, what about you?"  
  
"Same. Ever since I was young."  
  
"Cool!" His grin widened to the point where I found it idiotic, and I realized then that Goku probably wasn't the person to go to for intelligent conversation. Oh well. At least he was fun to talk to.   
  
"Hey Goku!" The two of us turned around to see a group of smiling preps. Well, the guys were smiling. The girls were glaring at me as if I had just entered their precious territory. Please, I have taste, but of course, they all looked too stupid to know that. Turns out I was right.  
  
"Who's THAT?" The way she ended her sentence reminded me of a rich toddler who was about to call her lawyer because the ice cream vendor didn't have the right flavour.  
  
"Hi Maron!" Goku greeted her. She was wearing way too much frosted pink lipstick and her blue hair was hanging loose and long, identical with the two girls close by her. "Maron, this is Juuhachi. Juuhachi, my friend Maron."  
  
"Nice to meet you." What the heck. I had decided that I would be nice to her, but, as predicted, she certainly had no intention of returning the favour.  
  
"Yeah, whatever."  
  
"Maron..."  
  
"What is it Krilly?" Maron smoothed her hand over a shorter guy's bald head. For some reason the kid didn't seem to have a nose...I found that VERY odd, especially since preps usually cast out people with missing body parts or have anything that isn't 'normal' by their standards.  
  
"Do you have to be so..."  
  
"So what?"  
  
The guy I assumed was named 'Krilly' sighed, and simply shook his head in resignation. Yep, the two were definitely going out, and 'Krilly' was the obvious bitch in this little relationship.  
  
"Oh yeah. I guess I should introduce the rest of you guys, huh?" Goku chuckled and stuck a hand behind his head. He started off pointing at the bald midget. "This is Krillin," He moved over to the other guys and girls. "...and that's Cindy, Nadia, Jeff, Scott and Tyler." I said hello, and was greeted with one back...from the guys. I was particularly annoyed with the fact that Tyler was staring at my chest.  
  
"You want these? Go to a plastic surgeon and get them for yourself then." I walked away to the office so I could get my timetable. Can you really blame me though? My tolerance is quickly diminished in the presence of idiots, it's not MY problem.  
  
A few minutes later found me in my first class, science. Dear Lord...what a horrible start to any morning. You just don't do hard things first period! The teacher is...well...old! Really short, and really, really old.  
  
"Hello class! You can all just take your seats and kick back and relax for a few minutes. I'm Mr. Roshi, but all the pretty ladies out there can call me Mr. R." Oh, just fucking great. We had a pervert for a teacher. Why was he wearing those God-awful shades? I guess old people are like that...they just don't understand that wearing something SOMEWHAT presentable DOES help them.  
  
The class rolled on, and as Mr. Roshi was going on about how he was younger and excelled in martial arts, I decided that I should join in the flurry of conversations that were being held around me. I was just about to go over to a group that seemed all right when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see a girl with sophisticated glasses and long, sky-blue hair pulled back into a loose braid smile shyly at me.  
  
"Um...hi there. You looked new." I glanced her over. She was wearing a sweater three times too big for her and regular, not very form fitting jeans.   
  
"I am, actually. Juuhachi Gero."  
  
"Gero? Hey, you wouldn't by any chance be related to Dr. Gero...would you?"  
  
"Sure, he's my uncle."  
  
She looked at me with surprise, and I wondered at the time just who this girl was. Not too many people know all that much about my uncle, unless they're engrossed in science. Then again...she did look like a bit of a nerd.  
  
"Bulma Briefs." Well, that certainly explained a lot. She's probably the smartest sophomore on the entire PLANET for Chrissakes.   
  
"Nice to meet you."  
  
"You too."  
  
I already had a plan forming in my head for matchmaking. Could I possibly do the opposites attract route, and have her go with Goku? At the time it seemed like it might work, although what happened later on in the day changed my mind completely.  
  
~*~  
  
Please review, and sorry for the extreme lack of updates. 


	5. Captain Yamucha

A/N: Hi! Thanks to all my reviewers!  
  
I don't own DBZ  
  
~*~  
  
Science passed by pretty quickly, and I found myself that day with Bulma, in Phys. Ed., along with a gothic-looking girl named ChiChi. After running around the gym about...twelve times because our gym teacher was supremely evil, the three of us collapsed on the ground and started chitchatting.   
  
"So Chi, how's things."  
  
"I need to get laid."  
  
Bulma's eyes went wide and I almost though her glasses were going to fall off her nose, so I pushed them back up, sniggering. ChiChi snorted, then sniggered along with me. The two of us were soon laughing our asses off.  
  
"Oh come ON Bulma, I'm just kidding! You need to learn to relax."  
  
"Well I didn't know that! ChiChi!"  
  
"Ever been laid?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.  
  
"...once." She frowned, her eyes narrowing among the sea of black eye makeup. What? She wore a lot. Not enough to make her look horrible, but quite a bit nonetheless. "He was a self-righteous bastard if I ever saw one. I didn't even get off."  
  
"ChiChi Mau! If I ever hear you talking like that again-"  
  
"You'll send me to the office and they'll call my home where no one happens to be, just like they do every other time, Mrs. Wiggins."  
  
Mrs. Wiggins wasn't too happy with ChiChi's response, I guess, because her face turned purple and she ordered her to do twenty more laps. ChiChi just smiled, bowed, said: "Yes Madam." with a beautiful mockery and ran around the gym again. I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing out loud. There was no way in hell I was going to run another twenty laps.  
  
~*~  
  
Lunchtime came, and by then I had learned that Bulma and ChiChi were good friends, as well as not part of the 'in crowd' as so many call them. Problem is, when you're not part of that crowd, ANYONE from ANY GROUP can bother you as much as they want. Even if they are considered lower than you. Like, for instance, the trekkies over at the far end of the cafeteria...  
  
"Captain Yamucha! There's a gothic Klingon in our midst! What do we do?"   
  
"Activate the deflector shields!" All I saw was a group of six people pull their Star Trek (I kid you not) jackets (with random characters shining on the back) over their heads and making really annoying beeping sounds.  
  
"What the hell...?"  
  
"Don't pay them any mind, Juuhachi. They're...not here on earth with the rest of us." said Bulma, shaking her head.  
  
"BULMA!!!" yelled one with exceedingly long black hair and pointy ears like Spock.  
  
"Oh God, not today..."  
  
"BUULLLLLMMMMAAAA!!!"   
  
"He's persistent, isn't he?" commented Chichi dryly.  
  
"I wish he WASN'T so persistent. If someone killed him tomorrow, I tell you, I wouldn't be mourning."  
  
"Come away with us before the earth is destroyed! We don't have much time!"  
  
"Save the Star Trek crap for someone else, Yamucha. Besides, I'd rather die on earth than spend the rest of my life having to put up with you. It's bad enough as it is." Yamucha, too my great relief, shut up and went back to 'strategic planning' at his table. What a freakin' nerd. If I ever end up like that, shoot me, please.  
  
After lunch, I was walking down the hall to art class, minding my own business when the midget happened to bump into me. Now, when I say 'bump into me', I mean he was running at top speed and bowled me over onto the floor. You could say I wasn't all that happy at that point.  
  
"Watch where you're going, you moron!!"  
  
"Sorry." To this day, I still find it amazing that Krillin could have such a nasally voice and not have a nose. At that point, I didn't even know it was him, at least until he spoke.  
  
"Oh, it's you. Krillin. Didn't mean to scare you or anything." I looked at him, smirking at his unsure expression.  
  
"Juuhachi...um...hey." I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Poor guy didn't really know what to do at that point.  
  
"Where are you going in such a hurry anyhow?"  
  
"News has it that the matchmaker's transferring to our school. They say she's over in the library." At that point my eyebrows furrowed. Why would I be known over at this end of the country? Furthermore, who would pretend to be me? I guess if they wanted a popularity boost...  
  
"Oh really? How do you know about the matchmaker?"  
  
"My friend Stan knows this guy named Connor Ishito and-"  
  
"Connor ISHITO? Has he talked to him lately? I know Connor really well."  
  
"Yeah, he said he's doing all right, and that his friend was coming to our district. You know, the description he gave sort of reminds me of you..." Gee, I WONDER why that was. I took off two points for intelligence there.  
  
"Really?" I asked, emphasizing every vowel and looking him in the eyes. It wasn't long before he smacked his hand to his forehead. Peeking through his fingers, his eyes looked like they were full of awe and embarrassment at the same time.  
  
"God, I'm so stupid. You're the matchmaker?"  
  
"Yep, that's me."  
  
"Wow..."  
  
"It's nice to know I'm special. I gotta get to art, but I'll see you around, okay?"  
  
"Sure." I made to walk away, then pivoted like a basketball champion in the middle of the hallway. A brilliant plan had suddenly formed in my mind, and Krillin just happened to be a part of it.  
  
"Hey Krillin!" He turned around and looked back.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Now that I've moved I need a new assistant...care to fill in?" It was genius on my part. Having a male assistant would enable so many new opportunities for pairings and a much better way to convince guys to go along with what I was doing. I wasn't sure if he would say yes, but I figured if not, I could always ask Bulma or ChiChi, or even Goku if I got REALLY desperate.  
  
"Hey, sounds awesome to me! Count me in!"  
  
"Great! Well, gotta run to art. See ya!" I waved, he waved and we parted ways. He was a really nice guy, even if he let his idiot girlfriend walk all over him. Do I sound jealous? I wasn't, not at the time anyhow. That didn't happen until later on, when...well, I'll get to that.   
  
Anyhow, there I was, sitting in art, when halfway through the period some short guy with long, spiky hair comes in wearing rainbow spandex pants. I was very surprised that not a single person made fun of him. In fact, they all looked kind of scared when he walked in the room. He didn't look very scary at all. I myself was trying desperately not to laugh, and I guess he noticed, because he gave me this really evil glare. Of course, I was used to evil glares, so I glared right back at him. He obviously wasn't used to being stood up to, so he growled and sat down FAR AWAY from me.   
  
"Wow...I can't believe you did that." I turned to the blue-haired girl beside me; her name was Lunch.  
  
"Did what?"  
  
"Glared back at him, at VEGETA." Let's see, the guy's name sounded like a vegetable, he wore RAINBOW spandex pants and his hair made him look like a carrot. It was a wonder I didn't erupt into laughter on the spot.  
  
~*~  
  
Review plz! 


	6. Different Sort of Catfight

A/N: Gee, has it really been THAT long since I updated? Eh, well here it is, whether you like it or not is totally up to you.  
  
I own nothing.  
  
Warnings: Fight! Fight!  
  
~*~  
  
I scoffed then. Isn't that a neat word? "What, is he some self-proclaimed demonic judge born to kill us all?"  
  
"He's this raver who silently broods and doesn't talk to many people. He's REALLY smart, but he's always giving the teachers hell. He also knows how to fight."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"Not just street fighting either."  
  
"I've been taking martial arts lessons since I was a kid. He shouldn't be a problem." Lunch sighed and started fixing her red bandana. "Didn't they outlaw those because of gangs?"  
  
"Maybe in Canada and USA...not here though." Lunch tied the piece of fabric tightly behind her long, fluffy blue hair. "You know...he'd probably be a lot less moody if he had a girlfriend."  
  
~*~  
  
So...there I was, opening the front doors of the school, getting ready to step out onto the lush green grass screaming "FREEDOM!" when I was rudely pulled back by my hair. Acting on instinct, I threw my body forward, which I failed to remember would propel whoever was holding onto my pale locks to a rather close encounter with the strong doors.   
  
WHAM!  
  
I got up quickly, and I knew the worst thing that could happen to me was, well...jail I suppose, but then I saw that it was Maron and I had to try and keep my laughter in. I was doing pretty well, which was good - because half of the student body had frozen in their tracks at the sight of the blue-haired girl's prone body on the cold floor. I figured I should stay, since there was bound to be a vice-principal coming around or someone.  
  
To my surprise, Maron had lifted herself off the ground without help from anyone else. Her eyes looked like she was ready to tear me apart. Her body looked like she was going to pass out.  
  
"You fucking bitch!"  
  
"Hey, you started the whole thing." She did! She was the one who pulled my hair and yanked my head back. If anyone is stupid enough to do that to someone who's been taking martial arts lessons since they were little, they frickin' deserve to get hurt.  
  
"Trying to make time with my Krillin!" Oh. THAT explained a few things.  
  
"Please. You can keep him." I was bored already with the way things were going. Taking the time to look at my nails REALLY must have pissed the girl off, because she charged at me (not even running in a straight line) screaming like a banshee. Being the expert I am - what? So I'm bragging a little. DEAL with it, sheesh. Anyways, back to the 'fight', if you can call it that, with Maron. I simply stepped out of the way and watched her trip over her flip flops. It was sad, really it was.  
  
"What is going ON around here?" There, finally was a vice-principal, her dyed blond hair not quite reaching the roots, where a blackish brown creeped in. Her bright green contacts made her wide eyes look evil, and she had a hook-like nose that reminded students of a Hallowe'en witch.  
  
"Catfight. Those two." Wow, whoever had said that really knew how to point out the obvious. Sadly, I didn't know the guy, or I would've slapped him. Well, I would've slapped him anyways, but you just don't do that when a scary-looking vice-principal is screeching at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Both of you GET in my office RIGHT NOW!!"   
  
~*~  
  
After getting screamed at by Mrs. McBane for half an hour, Maron and I were exhausted. It was a lot of work conditioning your ears to that kind of noise. Sure, you could go to rock concerts, but that was GOOD noise. This wasn't.  
  
"...and if I EVER see EITHER of you pull this stunt AGAIN," I found the way she accented her words amusing, and had to keep my mental snickering inside my head. "WHAT DID YOU SAY JUUHACHI?"  
  
"I didn't say anything." This teacher, though fierce looking, was paranoid beyond belief. I suddenly felt a weight on my shoulder. It turned out to be Maron, fast asleep and beyond caring. Just my luck, Juuana was peeking in the door.  
  
"Gee sis, I didn't know you swung that way! I'll admit it, I was wrong...you don't want to be like the popular girls, you just want them." Being the caring, loving, twin sister that I am, I shot out of that room and tore after my brother like a bat out of hell, intent on causing some permanent damage. I ran through the whole school trying to catch up to him, and when I did, it was in my science classroom. Hmm...wouldn't it be neat if I could somehow clamp Juuana to the ceiling...  
  
It ended up that I could, and that (as well as defending myself against the bimbo from the black lagoon) added up to a three day suspension. The teachers didn't manage to get Juuana down very quickly either, and Uncle just laughed his ass off when he saw him. Yes, I am the favoured child. It's because I'm a girl, and I'm ruthless, and I'm chaste...everything my brother isn't.  
  
That night after dinner, my Uncle TRIED to lecture me about how I wasn't supposed to use scientific equipment to pin my brother onto the ceiling, and Juuana certainly liked to put in his side of the story, which was completely fabricated and only made the hole he was digging for himself deeper.  
  
"It was a learning experience, as well as lots of exercise. Plus I had a vendetta to fill."  
  
"Vendettas are Italian-based. Our family is German and Japanese." said Uncle, opening the newspaper to a different page.  
  
"I still can't believe you fucking bolted me by my clothes to the ceiling. You have no idea how much those pants cost me."  
  
"I'm guessing 70-80 dollars, judging by how high your screams were. You're such a pansy! Plus you were stupid and wasted all your energy running away from me, and then you couldn't fight back. Therefore I've justified myself."  
  
"What did he do?"  
  
"I didn't do anything!"  
  
"Bullshit, he accused me of lesbianism with the ugliest bitch in the district! Hell, if I was GOING to get into that type of thing, I'd pick someone who actually looked good and had a brain."  
  
"Maybe he's jealous that you got to her first." Uncle snickered as Juuana started pitching a fit. I laughed outright. Especially since he was turning red, which meant he DID like Maron. Sometimes I'm not sure how we're even related...  
  
~*~  
  
It was day two of suspension time, and I was busy unpacking just about ALL of our junk. I didn't really have a choice in the matter; Uncle said it was to teach me to think about what I did before I went ahead and did it. The stupid bitch pulled MY hair first. Hell, at that point I had decided that when I got back into the school, I'd grab Krillin and just start making out with him in the middle of the hallway, just to piss her off. The absurdity of THAT scenario dawned on me moments later. Hey, I just sounded smart there! Hah! Who knows, maybe I will become a genius.  
  
Elsa phoned me that day, while I was organizing the spice rack, no less. At least this way I knew exactly where everything went...and I hid the good stuff so Juuana wouldn't get to it. I love being evil, it just suits me so well. Back to Elsa, she seemed to be doing well, and (unlike me) she was adored and praised by just about every teacher in the school...but with her community work, who wouldn't?  
  
~*~  
  
Review purdy please... 


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